Today, nine years later, the beauty and truth of this simple statement has seeped into my consciousness.  Today I know that what other people do or don't do to me is never the problem.  It's always MY reaction to what they do or don't do that is the problem. 

I've also learned that until I can develop the quality of Emotional Security that the book talks about, I cannot hope to control my reactions and therefore will continue to resent people who I've found guilty of some real or imagined harm against me. Besides anger, it also says I'll never be free of worry, self pity and depression. Thus as long as I am emotionally insecure, I can't hope to have anything like lasting serenity or peace of mind. 

I'm coming to believe that I had this emotional insecurity a long time before I picked up that first drink. Unknowingly I developed a whole slew of character defects ("defenses") in an attempt live comfortably with these fears and insecurities. By the time I picked up my first drink and experienced the magic that alcohol could work, I was already an emotional mess. Of course I didn't realize there was anything wrong with me then because I had lived my fearful life for so long that it felt normal to me. 

Thirty years after that first drink the alcohol began to fail me.  Oh, I still got drunk alright, but booze and drugs stopped taking the feelings away.  In fact toward the end it seemed to magnify the feelings... It was in this desperation that God graced me with a moment of clarity that led me to AA. 

I was freely given a clear cut program of recovery and a complete set of spiritual tools that work in any condition. And the examples of those who came before me gave me the courage to keep moving forward when my ego told me to run away. I am profoundly grateful for all the gifts I've received.