Toward the end of my drinking I was in extreme isolation, drinking alone most of the time in my darkened apartment watching reruns of Gilligan's Island. I was so used to being alone that connecting with others in AA took some time. It was the laughter that did it. When I share a good laugh with others I feel a part of, not apart from. The other great thing about laughter is that when I'm laughing, I'm not thinking.
Thinking has always been a problem for me -- then and now. Thinking, for example, that I've been put on this earth to achieve something is at the root of all my problems. I've learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that I've been put here to be God's achievement. It's not about what I'm doing that's important, it's about what I'm being. This is a very tough lesson for me.
My Higher Power has a great sense
of humor and laughs at me --not 'with me'-- all the time. What tickles
Him the most is my misuse of free will. Why do I struggle and strain
to pick up crumbs off the carpet when the Keys to the Kingdom are within
easy reach? He's not laughing at my problems, He's laughing at my
solutions. Let's face it, from God's perspective, man's solutions
to life must be hilarious.