Forgiveness is the antidote for resentment and the restorer of peace of mind. Trouble is I don't forgive easy. It's a good thing the Big Book doesn't directly say I should forgive, it says I should see that the offending person is sick like me. When I can do this with some sincerity and compassion I find the resentment loses its strength. Compassion reopens the channel to my Higher Power then forgiveness is possible.
My father was an alcoholic. He was a cold and critical taskmaster and a controlling nitpicker. I resented him for most of my life for the physical pain, fear and upset he brought to my family and me. It was during the process of working the steps that I could see for the first time that I had many of the same character defects that I accused him of. Only then could I begin the lifelong process of forgiving him.
Forgiveness is a complicated tool
for me. But what I believe is that when I'm finding someone else
guilty I am reinforcing my own sense of guilt and unworthiness. I
cannot forgive myself unless I'm willing to forgive others. It does
not matter a hoot what I think others have done to me in the past or what
I think I may have done. If I can learn to forgive I can eventually put
down the burden of the guilt I've been carrying and walk in freedom.