I'm not sure denial is a bad thing. Toward the end if I had the ability to see my life as it really was, who knows what I might have done to myself? I was pathetic but didn't know it. It's only now 10 years later that I can see that I was in really deep trouble. While I had not yet lost my apartment or my car, I had lost my interest in virtually everything that didn't involve getting high. Alcoholism had eroded my spirituality from the inside out. I was running purely on self will -- rationalizing, justifying, or ignoring all the events of my life. Denial is probably saving a lot of alcoholics (drinking and sober) from suicide, but not all of them. It didn't save my father.
It's uncomfortable to inventory and
see myself as I really am. It's uncomfortable to see how my actions harm
others. It's uncomfortable to admit I am wrong and uncomfortable
to make amends. It's easier just to stay in the warm cocoon of denial.
I think it takes a lot of courage to leave the comfort zone and work the
Steps. If you are doing this work, you are learning what I am learning:
"the truth will set (me) free."